Pizza Stoned

Here's the thing...

I've dug through cabinets and fridges that have seen better days and come up with debatably gourmet meals but currently I have a film professor with lofty expectations (17 movies in 3 weeks?!).  Therefore, there is no time for dilly dallying around in the kitchen tonight.  Pizza, beer and a few classic flix it is!

Directly from the office, after what seemed to be the longest day ever, I pick up a pizza stone, some new laptop speakers, and a papa murphy's pizza.  I hit the mail box for my assignments of the evening 'It Happened One Night', 'Morocco', and 'The Palm Beach Story'.... I have a looong night ahead of me.

After a wrestling match which left my kitchen looking like I barely survived a styrofoam blizzard the pizza stone was free. That was actually much easier than getting the thin crust raw pizza out of its cardboard cradle!  I was baffled...it must've looked like it was the first time I had ever seen a pizza! It's like the 80lb pizza prepping teen sat on it to get it in there! Finally I was able to kind of roll it over itself, fold it in half and slap it down onto the stone, thinking I could just unroll it once it was on the pizza stone...just ridiculous in hind sight.  Now it's a saucy, cheesy smear on a hot stone.

....it's a PREMADE pizza, all I had to do is turn on the oven and throw it in!

To add insult to injury my new pizza stone box in bright yellow letters
says 'Pizza Making Kit for Dummies' all over it!

"Mama said there'd be days like this."

Ta Da!

Check out those cheese wrinkles and burnt dough tails!

I don't know if it was the regular swigs of Firestone Pale Ale, a waving of the white flag, or the fact that there were no first hand witnesses to my idiocy but that calzone (yeah, we'll call it a calzone) ended up being the funniest and best Tuesday night on a couch with black & whites brain food I could've hoped for.
  They can't all be gems.

Keep your fingers crossed for the cookie dough I'll be attempting to bake in an hour or two!

Chicken lover? Why yes, I am.

I realize I may lose some of you here but keep an open mind and maybe we can figure out something together...

On what has become my Saturday morning ritual I found a gem.  A crispy, chickeny gem.   So I'm on a little jaunt down to my local farmer's market for an amazing veggie breakfast burrito (which is always better then the ones I attempt to make at home), some fresh flowers, funky veggies, and the best pie on the planet when I spot something that will momentarily transfer my gluttony to my pups.

Precious Puch All Natural Doggie Treat 'Chicken Lover'

As I approach this cookie shack I notice the table covered in golden, crispy treats.  They were not hot from the oven but you could still smell their delicious, natural ingredients wafting through the tent.  The friendliest faced woman started waving in a Vanna White styled gesture but after I heard bacon I don't remember much else.  All I know is as I exit the tent I have a cute little poodle face under my arm.

After chit chatting with a few locals it's homeward bound.  MacKenzie and Lucy have tilted their faces in just the right angle to make me want to give them whatever they want so out comes the bag.  The smell of chicken and rosemary permeates the air once again.  MacKenzie would eat a plastic cookie in a second flat, as she did with this cookie.  Lucy is motivated by affection not food, so she can take or leave treats.  She just hopes when handing it to her you bend down close enough to pet her.  This being said, she gently took the cookie from my hand and took off like she stole it!  She licked it and carried it around wagging her tail until the set of eyes burrowing into the back of her head became too much and she realized that she better eat it soon.

Okay...we're to that point now.  I'm not gonna lie.

I took a bite.

It was so very good.  It's like if a compressed rosemary biscuit had a baby with a chicken pot pie crust.  The ingredients are unbleached Flour, Chicken Stock, Chicken Powder (I have no idea what that is.), Vegetable Oil, Roll Oats (Again, no clue.), Baking Powder and Rosemary.  So it's not like when you played truth or dare as a kid and had to eat kibble.  In fact if they weren't shaped shaped like schnauzers, fire hydrants, and paw prints you would just think of it as a yummy cracker disguised as a cookie that needed some salt.

I must make these...and of course serve them to my friends without saying a word.

If you have a link to a recipe (for human consumption) that sounds good please post it. 

HimaLOVIN Salt Plate meets New York Strip

Let me just say that sometimes it pays to work in a small office.  I fielded a call from none other than Sur La Table informing my boss that the Himalayan Salt Plates he purchased for his wife's birthday (that he had been waiting for weeks to get) had finally arrived.  I had just seen an episode of Diners, Drive-ins and Dives where Guy Fieri hit up Cafe Rakka and witnessed a kitchen goddess miracle, filet mignon being seared on a salt block...my jaw dropped.  Needless to say he rushed right over.  The moment the door shut behind him I was on the phone to SLT.  As expected they couldn't keep them on the shelves, every order that came in was spoken for weeks in advance.  A dash of charm and Ken was taking down my credit card number and adding my loot to my bosses stack of salt for pick up.  I <3 you Ken! In fact, I named my NY Strip after you. So of course my pretty pink salt plate is Barbie...and that my darlings is why it's called a HimaLOVIN Salt Plate in my foodie pad!  

Gotta have it?  Here you go.

http://www.surlatable.com/product/PRO-687152/Himalayan-Salt-Plate

Now for the ingredients:

 A good cut of beef

Pepper

If you have a bundle of big green onions that would be delicious 

(I didn't and still regret not running down to the market).

So here's the only down side.  You need to gradually heat it up and as you well know by now I am an instant gratification gal so this is difficult for me.  The risk of cracking my 200 million year old crystallized salt deposits helps me realize that It's really no big deal. The salt plate needs to be on the rack when you start your grill, keep it on low and then work the heat up.  I believe the desired heat is 300 - 400 degrees.  If I had those delightful green onions I would have added them after a few minutes, but I didn't, so I didn't.  Light the grill, pour a beer, put on a record and relax for a bit.

Salt + Meat = <3

When the Barbie is finally all hot and bothered I added a generously peppered Ken (do not add salt - for obvious reasons) who was seared on the grill for a moment because I'm old fashioned and I like lines on my steak. The lovely couple sizzled at first touch.  A few minutes on each side and we were eating the most flavorful, juicy steak I've had in a long time.  The salt infused the steak, somehow she knew just how much he needed.

Clean up was a cinch.  No water, just scrub it.

Courtship....it's getting hot in here.

Consummation

Love on a plate...even my broccolini are lifting their legs in rapture.